Meet us tonight at The Royale for a decadent experience not to be matched elsewhere in the city.
You will put on your red dress, favorite bathrobe, lucky drawers, whatev. You will pick out your favorite 90's sentimental pop song, 80's hair band love ballad, 70's kiss-off Gloria Gaynor tune, or whatever pleases you. You will bring the lyrics on a sheet of paper. You will sign up at 7:30 at the Royale (3132 S. Kingshighway), and at 8:00, you will lay down those lyrics like the saddest, most drama-filled, angst-ridden thing you've ever read to an audience. And they will *love* you for it. It's fun. It's quirky. It's free.
And when you go to work on Thursday morning and that gal who sits in the cube next to you starts shoving her stupid Vermont Teddy Bear in your face, she'll see that gleam in your eye and she'll notice. She'll interrogate you at length, and you can tell her, no, you did not sit home on Valentine's Day crying into a bowl of Cheetos while you watched C.O.P.S., Thank You Very Much! You chose to go out to The Royale to read the lyrics to The Thong Song and that has made all the difference.
That is all.